It is in the option menu. Either in the main menu options or in the ingame options.
You can also look in the newbie faq.
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
Chauvinism is not a particularly nice trait at the best of times but can be suicidal when the person your talking too can have you executed on a whim.
Facebook, anyone?