[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 01-18-2013 @ 01:28 PM).]
[This message has been edited by Andalus (edited 02-16-2009 @ 06:40 AM).]
Quoted from Sicilian opening message:
Gonzo the magnificent, your counsel is most intriguing to us. We are monitoring the situation in Italy closely and keep a keen eye on the positioning of Venice and Milan.
Alas our poor people can do little but to toil to grow our nation, work hard in the fields, eat pie and engage in some friendly racketeering, we are not in a position to truely threaten Venice although our forces are slowly gathering. We could imaging that expanding your territory to our peaceful isles could appear a strategic bonus, particularly with the support of Venice. That said, if you cross us in that way you would find yourself with a much stronger future opponent in Venice with little else to act as a buffer - the lands controlled by Sicily are young and require investment, it would make sense for you to trade with us as your ally.
Matilda continues her merry way towards you, the furry animals playing around her feet as she tries to stamp on them. Milan seems to be slow to embrace the new mud path technology that is rolling out across the more advanced parts of the countryside, a fine day it will be when walking between two cities can be accomplished in under 4 years.
Our military offering to you is but a token gesture we fear, but a sign of our honourable intent. If all goes to plan, a small force would be near Marsailles within 5-10 'turns'. Do you have desires over the lands of Milan or would your eye wander northwards towards the rest of France and the likely English incursion?
Yours with no degree of ill thought nor plans to disect your favourite horses
Roger the Godfather
Quoted from Spainish reply:
Rodger the Godfather,
You must think me some kind of muppet that I would dream of threatening your lands- do not be so quick to bring out the threats when you are among friends!
We do not anticipate our forces arriving at Marseilles for at least 7 seasons yet, but we shall notify you if any change of plans. As for future plans, Milan does indeed look lovely in the summer, but is rather close to Venice for my liking. I would prefer to go via Switzerland into the Germanic forests, but we shall see. It depends rather on the English keeping their side of the bargain.
Love and sunshine,
Gonzo.
Venice and I exchanged in-game messages however.Quoted from Sicily second message:
My appologies great Gonzo, I had not meant to threaten you - merely to point out the possible consequences of siding with Venice. The part about your horses was a specific non-threat, as I stated that we did not want to hurt them. Perhaps this odd way of interpreting our messages could be to explain for the deteriation on relations with Venice, I meant only to wish the Doge safety given the combination of narrow alleys, dark nights and potential watery graves that he must face...
You should be aware that both Sicily and Venice are allied to HRE, for our part it is purely to reduce the likelihood of an attack from Northern Italy, I imagine the same is true for Venice. I would appreciate it if you could inform me before you reach their barbaric lands in the mountains with your armies. Assuming they have not learned civilised ways from their Italian holdings, we would be glad to cancel our alliance with HRE to show our support for the Glorious armies of Spain.
For our part, we have heard nothing from England and in particular have not been offered any part of Spain in return for distracting you from Northern attacks.
Our fleet near southern Spain is in place to initiate blockades against your Moorish neighbours. I forget if you are at war with them, but we may as well join in if you are.
May your days be full of flowers and nice things, with bunny rabbits and other pleasant fluffy things, and may you not be stung by insects attracted to those flowers nor break your ankle in the rabbit holes.
Roger
p.s. was my sign off suitably cheery in this instance? I noted your liking of the countryside
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 02-24-2009 @ 05:28 PM).]
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 04-13-2009 @ 04:13 AM).]
Hmm, ORLY?Quoted from Hoppy:
I've attacked Milan and got attacked by Hungary. Tricky bastards. Annnywaays I've beseiged Milan and you can take Genoa whenever you want.
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 06-10-2009 @ 02:47 AM).]
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 07-17-2009 @ 05:39 PM).]
[This message has been edited by Monty501 (edited 07-28-2009 @ 03:04 AM).]
Quoted from Bandito:
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 2009 06:53:38 -0700
From: Bandito
Subject: Regarding Your Not So Subtle Threat.
To: me
Dear Godfather. If I got it straight--not sure if the servant had managed to translate it right--you wish to have some "protection" racket over my poor subjects?The Turks are no trouble to your nation and I would like it to stay that way. I always spend all the money for the well being of my subjects rather than churning raging hordes of soldiers, unlike other human players. The present situation is different as the recent uncalled for (though expected) actions of the Venetians made me build up my army at the expense of economic growth, which is making me mightily sad.
What makes me even sadder is that at my moment of crisis, you had to add insult to injury. I, in return want to ask you a few questions before I make up my mind regarding this protection racket.
1.How much do you want, and for how long?
2.Can you live up to your threat? Due to the vast distance between us, I really cannot imagine that you can bring any sizable force next to my lands to threaten me. I will not be cowed by empty threats you know. Rather, I think you are better off worrying the HRE.
Allahu Akbar
having read it (on my good lady wife's blackberry - handy little things) I thought it sounded decidedly fake.Quoted from Hoppy:
Subject: SicilyT26+Important Classified info regarding the Turks
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:41:13 -0700
First of all, I must stress that you tell NOBODY about this, not even EoJ, and ESPECIALLY not Selifator because if Bandito catches wind of this then we're both screwed. The following screenshots are pictures of Bandito's messages to me regarding the imminent invasion on your lands. I've done my best to play along as yes, even assassinate your spy and give him 3000 florins to gain his trust. It was neccesary to get him to reveal his entire plan to me and provide you with exact details. Judging by his message he likely has a 5 or 6 piety imam hidden away from my spies and assassins seeing as how I assassinated his first one Baraka. As a gesture of my goodwill I'll even vote for your cardinal in the upcoming Papal election. Ignore the demand for 2000 florins. Best of luck!
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 08-01-2009 @ 07:40 AM).]
That's a load of cobbler's - see picture for the fleet that Bandito denies having and the army that he no longer has...Quoted from extractfromBandito:
nothing compared to what Hoppy just did to my entire fleet. All kisses and alliance on one turn, and bam! Betrayal on the next turn.
Lets see, I lost 3 stacks of my most elite troops, which means I have very little Jihading troops left (the six stack rant was just a bluff), and even if I can train them, I have a grand total of 3 ships out of 14 I had. The chance of me taking Sicily is now close to nil. I said "close to nil" because it is a Mongol's nature to never give up the target even after a bloody loss. However, the losses were entirely due to Venice's back-stabbing so let me say something to Hoppy first.
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 08-04-2009 @ 00:17 AM).]
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 09-06-2009 @ 09:15 AM).]
It also turns out that the Turks had sent an army to destroy the Spanish stack near Naples.Quoted from Bandito by email:
Subject: Ahoy, Swampy.
Dear Don, let us rejoice for the hard won peace between us. I shall trust you when you said you had no choice but to declare a Crusade against me. I further appreciate your assurance that you will stay back from the Crusades and let the others do the work. After all, I had stayed true to my words--no settlement of yours came under attack, and none will be. The peace came at just the right moment and I hope we both will cherish it.
It was unfortunate that the Spanish planned to attack me from your lands and I was forced to engage them. I cannot afford to trust EoJ (you are the only Christian faction I have confidence in) when his stack is so far from his lands and so near mine--I hope you understand. I know he is your ally but I need to defend my Balkan possessions.
PS: Could you move your ship barring the channel near Istanbul? It is rather bothersome.
Bandito
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 09-26-2009 @ 05:29 AM).]
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 12-31-2009 @ 01:07 PM).]
[This message has been edited by SwampRat (edited 05-09-2010 @ 07:40 AM).]
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