Most think of us as the metal-clad maniacs and terrors sweeping in from the seas as shown above. Sometimes we are, I admit, but Vikings are far more than a football team from Minnesota or ravagers upon seas. We are innovative craftsmen, dauntless explorers, fair and honest merchants, and yes, we were also feared warriors ruthless raiders.
Today we are far less than what we once were. Most know us for scenes like those above, not those below, when skinny bearded little men from far away would meet us to discuss the price of goods and exchange cold gold for the goods we brought. We accepted silver, too.
We had rules to live by on land and sea (air was not yet invented), thus we shall have rules here as well.
1. Back during the Great wars, they said 'loose lips sink ships.' In our day, the boat was made of wood. Wood burns. Loose coals and flames sank ships. Thus,
2. Trolls live in rock and brackish water. They may live there in peace with the blessing of every Viking who ever walked this earth. Yet those who board our ship or spew their venom here will not be tolerated.
3. It is simply embarrassing to be happily drinking one's fill of ale and suddenly become violent. We are not berserkers! We aren't civilized either, but we do have manners and squabbling like the serving wenches below is considered tacky.
Pouring tasty honey mead onto the squabbling wenches like the red-capped fool is doing is also tacky- and can amount to alcohol abuse depending on the host.
4. Thou shalt not double-post. Unless a week has transpired, then all bets are off and one may freely continue. Do not be like the bald one. Let the young pitch-fork wielder have his chance to post, too.
5. Our protein-rich diet consisted mainly of fish and sheep, lamb if we were lucky and it was in season, or beef. Keep SPAM and all of its by-products away from us if you value your ability to breathe clean air. Spams give us gas.
6. Rule Six. Rule... Where did it go? Ahem, there is no Rule Six. Someone stole it. Probably Oddvar. He has sticky fingers.
7. And Rule Seven is gone as well! By Mjolnir, what is this?!? I see you smirking, Hrolvath. Put it back!
8. We are clever and witty because we do not tolerate stupidity. Mother Nature does not allow it. The seas are rough when the winds blow, and many a stupid Viking had been washed overboard to sink swiftly in his triple-chainmail armor he was wearing in a storm. Thus, stay alert and stay alive.
Silliness, on the other hand, is not only tolerated, it is appreciated!
Winners of the Order of the Dragonship:
100:
476:
500:
1000:
1066:
1337:
1415:
1500:
1788:
1901:
2000:
2500:
History is a guide to navigation in perilous times. History is who we are and why we are the way we are- David C. McCullough
Wars not make one great- Yoda
[This message has been edited by General Sajaru (edited 07-13-2023 @ 08:15 PM).]